179 ) - Life as a blackman(my life)
age 17 that's when I started to feel the crunch of racism. Its about the people who destroyed my life. On my 17th birthday i was driving when a police officer pulled me over for what he said was a noisy tailpipe, but the only noise he heard was the loud color of my skin, and i believed it was so unbearable to the officer that my skin became louder and louder as we drove closer to the station, wasn't asked for a license or anything i was told to just be quiet and sit my black ass still, it's a shame that i had to feel this silent hatred from a man im suppose to respect, before finger prints, before pictures, before why i was pulled over, he told me to turn around and then i felt a warm breath behind my right ear saying,,,,i hate you people in our neighborhood and all i felt was his hands around my neck for what seems like an eternity and then i felt my legs go numb, i wasnt in handcuffs but my fear of being choked was so over bearing i just pretended to pass out, i didn't fight i was unsure if anybody else had the same hatred of my race as he did, so i laid on the floor while he repeated to do the cha cha slide all over my back, but that was the beginning of dealing with court days that i never knew i had because of a racist officer so i really thought it was over so on my way to the traffic court i get pulled over for a violation and here we go to the county jail for four more months because of a warrant for my arrest. so now IM in jail again for what i started to believe was a crime (being black),i felt like i lost everything at 17 years old, no car, lost my job and now IM really part of society's problem, now IM in front of a judge explaining what happened to me but all he said was to get a lawyer, can a lawyer get back my 4 months? so now IM released on an I bond and as i was leaving the jail i was picked up by two other officers saying that i looked like someone who just broke in a car ,,aww hell,,back in the county again, now i have a theft on my record, i showed my release papers but they were tore up by the officers and now IM back in the county jail for another 6 months waiting trial for something i knew nothing about, so IM back in the courtroom pleading guilty because the public defender informed me that i could get 3 to 5 for this crime i didn't commit so i pleaded guilty just to get out of jail, but the judges know this but continue to let it happen. so IM on my way home with two years probation,,made it to my front steps and here we go again police car pulled up saying i had a warrant for breaking in a liquor store two months ago and never went to court,dam,,somebody used my name when they got arrested so now IM back in the county jail for another 3months,,thirteen months in jail because of a racist officer, so for the next two years ive tried to take care of all these warrants and tried to get my license back and its been a long struggle and ive yet to get my license or a decent job, now IM 22 and i went to visit my brother on my birthday, he asked me to watch the house while he run to the store, not ten minutes later the police was at the door,,and guess who knows he's going back to jail,,,me,,for 10 more months for my brother cause he sold drugs and and had a few guns, talk about bad luck, no since explaining, you know the rest, but i was found not guilty and i when i heard those words, i couldn't even smile,,why people smile when they didn't do anything is still a mystery to me when the judge says not guilty. I called a friend to pick me up from the courthouse to drive me home and the police pulled us over two blocks from my house,,driving in a stolen motor vehicle,,why he pick me up in a stolen truck?11 months in the county, when i got out that time i just sat on the steps of the courthouse cause i just knew i was going right back in for something or somebody, i sat there for hours trying to figure out how i was going to get my life back or to save what's left of it so for the next ten years ive been in and out of jail like its my second home,but this story isn't about trying to get a handout,,i just need a chance to get my life back on track before its too late,,im 40 years old now, with no ailments or disabilities and working limbs and now its hard to get a job because of my background, and when a job tells you that they cant hire you because of a bad background check,,how would you feel if you were me? and the judge on occasion says to me that i need rehabilitation,,but i ask you this,,how do you rehabilitate an innocent man? what happened to me and still happening to this day would make the average man breakdown, but i have a family to keep my spirits up so IM OK, if i cant get some type of help, i don't need money, i need a chance to make it in this world and if i make it IM sure with my help atleast a thousand more people will make it with my help, all i need is a chance, to all that endures this story of mine,,thankyou,,Kevin,Reed,,,,part two coming soon to a theater near you
 Saturday, August 06, 2005 at 04:21 |
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